It's been a very long time since I've posted so this could be lengthy. This semester has been extremely difficult and challenging and great and long, and yet it has flown by. I didn't know what to expect from grad school, but I can say with certainty, I wasn't quite prepared. Grad school is hard. Also French is hard. I think I imagined I'd spend most of my days at terrace cafes, lounging by the scene, reading philosophy while wearing a stripes shirt and eating a baguette. Ok maybe not that stereotypical, but at least living every night like the film Midnight in Paris where I mysteriously encountered all my favorite 1920s authors and artists. Unfortunately, I did not time travel and I spent most of my time working on my thesis inside the always hot grad lounge at NYU. I was hoping to have all this free time, to be traveling to another country every weekend, much like I did in my undergrad experience. I thought I would fully embrace France and become a forever expat, remembering when I used to live in America. But alas, I find myself longing for home and family and friends.
I invented a theory I'm naming the Disneyland Theory. When you are a kid, or an adult, there is one place you dream about living. You dream that in that place, everything is perfect and amazing all the time and you are incredibly happy. For me this place was always Paris. But, much like a child wanting to move to Disneyland, moving to your dream place is not all it's cracked up to be. Most of this semester, I got lost in the buzz and the business. I was sick of the constant strikes of transportation workers, the crowded metros, the difficult students I taught, waiting for eternity for a check. Paris had lost its magic for me. I lost sight of why I love this city. I let a lot of the difficult experiences I had with my classes and teaching really define and engulf my experience. However, I've found a trick to combat this. That's what I like to call being a forever tourist.
For so much of my time here, I wanted to blend in. I mastered wearing all black, even when it's 70 degrees out, my "depressed metro face", and reading anywhere and everywhere, including a packed metro train. But I realized lately, that this city is so much more than my own difficulties and my ideal image of the "perfect Parisian'". There is so much beauty and art in this city, everywhere you look. There is so much to do: museums, parks, ballet, plays, operas. This is why I fell in love with French and Paris. So though I'm acting like a tourist, taking millions of pictures of all the famous landmarks, and trying to capture every sunset, I am happy to love Paris again. This was an amazing experience that I know I'll always cherish. I've felt and learned and grown a lot and I will always come back to the city I love any chance I get.
Paris is always a good idea!
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Theatre Reviews
Tonight I was fortunate enough to see one of my all-time favorite musicals, Passion. This beautiful musical composed by Sondheim was playing at the Theatre Châtelet where I saw West Side Story when I was studying in Paris in undergrad. This show was absolutely fantastic. It was in English with French super titles, like at an opera. The set was very minimalist, with several backdrops that were black and white graffiti like prints. The story follows a soldier who is deeply in love with a woman he's just met. He is called away as an assignment in a small town, away from his love in Milan. The musical is essentially the correspondence in letters between the soldier, Giorgio and his lover, Clara. Giorgio begins to develop a friendship with his captain's ill cousin, Fosca. He lends her books as she loves to read and she quickly falls in love with him. I won't spoil the rest but there are themes of what is real love and what is passion. A very beautiful show, with obviously amazing music. If you have never heard it or seen it, go listen to it right now. This production was very simple in set, lighting and though they had period costumes, the focus was on the music. This show is only one act as well, focusing on the depth of characters, rather than working primarily to advance a story (in my opinion). This show really shows and makes one question what is real love? How can one show it? How can one give it? How can one accept it and should they? The power of love, music and theatre makes for a very emotional production. Everyone was humming the main theme as I left the theatre, clearly a very moving show.
Last week, NYU took us to see Les Liaisons Dangereuses at Theatre de la Ville, incidentally just across the street for Theatre Châtelet. This was an adaptation of the original novel. We were lucky to have a discussion with the director and an actor before the show. She said the adaptation took her a year and she chose to take on the project because she had a particular actress in mind to play the lead role. This was another simple set with period costumes. I was think the set was meant to symbolize a prison, as the ultimate message is how are actions and the actions of others can imprison us. The whole idea of being a "libertine", doing whatever you want without consequence does not work. This play was almost 3 hours long with no intermission, but was the most powerful ending of any play I've see. The actress showed such emotion and sadness as she left the stage, that the whole audience was silent for a brief few moments before applauding.
I am so glad I was able to see such amazing pieces of theatre as my time in Pairs winds down!
Last week, NYU took us to see Les Liaisons Dangereuses at Theatre de la Ville, incidentally just across the street for Theatre Châtelet. This was an adaptation of the original novel. We were lucky to have a discussion with the director and an actor before the show. She said the adaptation took her a year and she chose to take on the project because she had a particular actress in mind to play the lead role. This was another simple set with period costumes. I was think the set was meant to symbolize a prison, as the ultimate message is how are actions and the actions of others can imprison us. The whole idea of being a "libertine", doing whatever you want without consequence does not work. This play was almost 3 hours long with no intermission, but was the most powerful ending of any play I've see. The actress showed such emotion and sadness as she left the stage, that the whole audience was silent for a brief few moments before applauding.
I am so glad I was able to see such amazing pieces of theatre as my time in Pairs winds down!
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Introverts and Team Teaching
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
As much as I try to live by that quote, I have often felt inferior without my consent. I consider myself a very strong and unashamed introvert. We live in a world of selfies and self-promotion where the loudest voice wins Presidential polls. I have never been the loudest voice. I am not exactly a "look at me" kind of person. Today was my first lesson student teaching in an undergraduate class. I was very nervous beforehand, but prepared exhaustively with my teaching partner. We were each to teach 45 minutes. This did not go as planned, as per my Professor's instructions, my partner completely took over the lesson. I was very thrown off and frustrated. I felt that I was doing well and was simply not given the opportunity to teach myself. The immediate intervention made me lose confidence for the rest of the lesson and really discouraged me. My feedback was that I was "trop timide" or too shy and I needed to take up more space and exude more confidence. Saying things like "just be confident" and "just be happy" though well intentioned often do not work for me. It's like telling someone who is left handed to "just be right handed". While self-confidence is something I struggle with constantly, I will not let today's experience shape my teaching career. I am not just a shy person who maybe shouldn't teach. I do not simply need to talk louder. I am not a push over and will not let negative perhaps misguided perceptions define me. I know that I can and will become a good teacher. I have my sights set on leadership roles in schools and even governments. While I acknowledge that I always have work to do, I will not let my "timide" nature be a detriment. It was hard for me to work with another person and I am thankful to have gotten through it. I do not think I need to change my personality to be a better teacher. To all the introverts out there and everyone being told "you can't" remember you can. T Swift is right and sometimes you just need to shake it off.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
As much as I try to live by that quote, I have often felt inferior without my consent. I consider myself a very strong and unashamed introvert. We live in a world of selfies and self-promotion where the loudest voice wins Presidential polls. I have never been the loudest voice. I am not exactly a "look at me" kind of person. Today was my first lesson student teaching in an undergraduate class. I was very nervous beforehand, but prepared exhaustively with my teaching partner. We were each to teach 45 minutes. This did not go as planned, as per my Professor's instructions, my partner completely took over the lesson. I was very thrown off and frustrated. I felt that I was doing well and was simply not given the opportunity to teach myself. The immediate intervention made me lose confidence for the rest of the lesson and really discouraged me. My feedback was that I was "trop timide" or too shy and I needed to take up more space and exude more confidence. Saying things like "just be confident" and "just be happy" though well intentioned often do not work for me. It's like telling someone who is left handed to "just be right handed". While self-confidence is something I struggle with constantly, I will not let today's experience shape my teaching career. I am not just a shy person who maybe shouldn't teach. I do not simply need to talk louder. I am not a push over and will not let negative perhaps misguided perceptions define me. I know that I can and will become a good teacher. I have my sights set on leadership roles in schools and even governments. While I acknowledge that I always have work to do, I will not let my "timide" nature be a detriment. It was hard for me to work with another person and I am thankful to have gotten through it. I do not think I need to change my personality to be a better teacher. To all the introverts out there and everyone being told "you can't" remember you can. T Swift is right and sometimes you just need to shake it off.
Monday, January 25, 2016
New Perspectives and French Education
Hello all,
After an overwhelming start to the new year, I've finally gotten a fresh perspective on the semester and my work here in Paris. I was feeling very discouraged at the end of the first semester, contemplating why I chose this program, if I made the right choice, if my level of French was good enough. I thought and thought and decided to come back for the second semester with a positive attitude. Unfortunately, this positivity was short lived as I came back to lots of stressful teaching and word that I needed a tutor to improve my writing.
Teaching is a roller coaster, some days are great and some days are stressful and it feels like the day will never end. I have been having some discipline issues in my classes and even kids saying they "hate English class" and don't want to come to class. I took this very personally and thought I must be a terrible teacher. I thought there's no way I could teach at the elementary level and maybe I shouldn't be teaching at all. I decided that the only solution would be to quit teaching in order to succeed in the Masters program. I emailed my teaching internship advisor and graduate studies advisor saying I wanted to quit.
I was very discouraged in my Masters program as well because I felt like my level of French was not where it needed to be. I was told by the graduate studies coordinator and two professors that I needed a tutor to work on my "problems" in French writing. I again thought that this must be a mistake and I couldn't write and I wasn't good at French and I shouldn't be here.
But alas, I have found a very encouraging tutor who assured me that my writing is good and comprehensible and there are small problems that I can definitely work to improve. She assured me that my professors were a bit "traditionelle" in their severe manner of criticism and not to be discouraged. As for teaching, things have gotten better and I have decided to continue teaching, probably until my spring break at the end of April.
I just spoke with my teaching internship coordinator, and she reassured me that I cannot take discipline issues personally and that I am still learning how to be a teacher. She explained that in France, the system is fit to work for only kids who will be well behaved and motivated. She said that frankly, teachers do not know how to handle kids who do not "fit". She said there are also teachers who are severely strict who teach in a way and discipline in a way that make kids scared and that extreme is not a solution. She also reminded me, I am still learning how to teach and not everything is going to work well all the time.
France has a very severe and criticism based education system that is not very encouraging. It is certainly not easy to take the criticism but I am learning so much about the French education system and teaching in general. I am hoping with these new perspectives, I can continue to find each challenge as a learning opportunity.
Au revoir for now!
After an overwhelming start to the new year, I've finally gotten a fresh perspective on the semester and my work here in Paris. I was feeling very discouraged at the end of the first semester, contemplating why I chose this program, if I made the right choice, if my level of French was good enough. I thought and thought and decided to come back for the second semester with a positive attitude. Unfortunately, this positivity was short lived as I came back to lots of stressful teaching and word that I needed a tutor to improve my writing.
Teaching is a roller coaster, some days are great and some days are stressful and it feels like the day will never end. I have been having some discipline issues in my classes and even kids saying they "hate English class" and don't want to come to class. I took this very personally and thought I must be a terrible teacher. I thought there's no way I could teach at the elementary level and maybe I shouldn't be teaching at all. I decided that the only solution would be to quit teaching in order to succeed in the Masters program. I emailed my teaching internship advisor and graduate studies advisor saying I wanted to quit.
I was very discouraged in my Masters program as well because I felt like my level of French was not where it needed to be. I was told by the graduate studies coordinator and two professors that I needed a tutor to work on my "problems" in French writing. I again thought that this must be a mistake and I couldn't write and I wasn't good at French and I shouldn't be here.
But alas, I have found a very encouraging tutor who assured me that my writing is good and comprehensible and there are small problems that I can definitely work to improve. She assured me that my professors were a bit "traditionelle" in their severe manner of criticism and not to be discouraged. As for teaching, things have gotten better and I have decided to continue teaching, probably until my spring break at the end of April.
I just spoke with my teaching internship coordinator, and she reassured me that I cannot take discipline issues personally and that I am still learning how to be a teacher. She explained that in France, the system is fit to work for only kids who will be well behaved and motivated. She said that frankly, teachers do not know how to handle kids who do not "fit". She said there are also teachers who are severely strict who teach in a way and discipline in a way that make kids scared and that extreme is not a solution. She also reminded me, I am still learning how to teach and not everything is going to work well all the time.
France has a very severe and criticism based education system that is not very encouraging. It is certainly not easy to take the criticism but I am learning so much about the French education system and teaching in general. I am hoping with these new perspectives, I can continue to find each challenge as a learning opportunity.
Au revoir for now!
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Reflections and A New Year
Time flies when you're having fun! Or when you're in grad school, which is not so much fun as hard work. It also involves constantly thinking "Is this really what I want to be doing with my life?" Grad school so far is an extended existential crisis. I am so lucky to have made some great friends in my program who can commiserate and support me in this challenging process. I was very relived to finish first semester and get some much needed time home. I have enjoyed being in Paris and am still so grateful everyday to be here, even when things get hard. I am very interested and eager to continue my thesis on the influence of mistakes in language learning. I am also anxious and excited to be teaching some lessons in the undergraduate French classes at NYU Paris. I am most excited to travel more this semester with my friends, hopefully to more places I have never been. Coming back so early, two weeks before classes start, was not easy. Getting back into teaching was difficult but I am always trying to get better and learn from my peers as well as experiences, both good and bad. Living in another country is definitely more challenging than I had thought, but I love Paris and France and french and look forward to continuing to learn and improve! Happy New Year to all!
Au revoir for now!
Au revoir for now!
Monday, October 12, 2015
La vie en l'automne
Hello all!
It's been a while since I've updated so my apologies! I had quite the logistical nightmare organizing my teaching schedule, but finally I have it settled. I am now only teaching four hours a week at two different schools, one public and one private. This schedule works well as I have only one teaching assignment Thursday and am free all day Friday. This is really helpful as I have time to research for my thesis and do homework for my grad classes. We are well into the semester now and I am definitely feeling more busy. For our teaching program, we have to attend undergraduate classes at NYU to observe the professors. We have 7 total, 4 to observe specific techniques like directions, use of English in a French class, etc. and 3 general observations of many aspects of the course. Definitely a lot to juggle with teaching and other classes, but very valuable as well. Next week I will have a break from teaching as it is the French fall holiday, Toussaint. NYU also has the following week off for a fall break so I will be going to Prague with some friends in my program! I am very excited for that as I feel it is a much needed break! Last week, Devin was here and we did a ton of fun things! We went to a mass at Notre Dame, which included some peaceful protestors who had to be forcefully escorted out by security. We also visited Le Pantheon, Sainte Chapelle, La Conciergerie, the Eiffel Tour, a dinner cruise on the Seine and Arc de Triomphe. We also took a day train trip to Giverny to visit Monet's home and gardens. It was a great week full of things I loved going back to, and a few things I hadn't done before. In general, all is busy but well! I am excited for Prague and will definitely update about that!
Au revoir!
It's been a while since I've updated so my apologies! I had quite the logistical nightmare organizing my teaching schedule, but finally I have it settled. I am now only teaching four hours a week at two different schools, one public and one private. This schedule works well as I have only one teaching assignment Thursday and am free all day Friday. This is really helpful as I have time to research for my thesis and do homework for my grad classes. We are well into the semester now and I am definitely feeling more busy. For our teaching program, we have to attend undergraduate classes at NYU to observe the professors. We have 7 total, 4 to observe specific techniques like directions, use of English in a French class, etc. and 3 general observations of many aspects of the course. Definitely a lot to juggle with teaching and other classes, but very valuable as well. Next week I will have a break from teaching as it is the French fall holiday, Toussaint. NYU also has the following week off for a fall break so I will be going to Prague with some friends in my program! I am very excited for that as I feel it is a much needed break! Last week, Devin was here and we did a ton of fun things! We went to a mass at Notre Dame, which included some peaceful protestors who had to be forcefully escorted out by security. We also visited Le Pantheon, Sainte Chapelle, La Conciergerie, the Eiffel Tour, a dinner cruise on the Seine and Arc de Triomphe. We also took a day train trip to Giverny to visit Monet's home and gardens. It was a great week full of things I loved going back to, and a few things I hadn't done before. In general, all is busy but well! I am excited for Prague and will definitely update about that!
Au revoir!
Sunday, September 20, 2015
La Vie is Busy
Hello all,
A quick update for everyone about my time so far. I've now finished two weeks of classes. I have five classes all once a week. My longest day is Wednesday where I have class from 10-8 pm! But things are going well. I generally like my classes and have some really great professors. I am thinking of writing my thesis on something about the effect of or importance of mistakes in language learning. 25 pages in French, can't wait! I have a new teaching schedule starting tomorrow, so I will be working everyday but Wednesday, at three different schools! It will definitely be busy, but nice to have new groups of kids. I will update on how it all went at the end of this week! The people in my program are really great and we have been spending a lot of time together! This weekend I had some of the group over for a little get together at my apartment. It was a lot of fun, despite the stairs, and the fact that my apartment building lacks any apartment numbers. Last night, we went to an amazing light and fireworks show at Versailles. It was truly a one of a kind experience and made me fall even more in love with Versailles! Pics below! Weather is more fall like than Paris is usually in September, but I don't mind as I love fall! I am so grateful to be here and and really happy I am meeting so many cool people! Au revoir!
A quick update for everyone about my time so far. I've now finished two weeks of classes. I have five classes all once a week. My longest day is Wednesday where I have class from 10-8 pm! But things are going well. I generally like my classes and have some really great professors. I am thinking of writing my thesis on something about the effect of or importance of mistakes in language learning. 25 pages in French, can't wait! I have a new teaching schedule starting tomorrow, so I will be working everyday but Wednesday, at three different schools! It will definitely be busy, but nice to have new groups of kids. I will update on how it all went at the end of this week! The people in my program are really great and we have been spending a lot of time together! This weekend I had some of the group over for a little get together at my apartment. It was a lot of fun, despite the stairs, and the fact that my apartment building lacks any apartment numbers. Last night, we went to an amazing light and fireworks show at Versailles. It was truly a one of a kind experience and made me fall even more in love with Versailles! Pics below! Weather is more fall like than Paris is usually in September, but I don't mind as I love fall! I am so grateful to be here and and really happy I am meeting so many cool people! Au revoir!
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